Ianto's View On Children

Ianto thoroughly disliked children. He didn't see the pleasure in caring for a sticky bundle of tears, he didn't feel comfortable cooing to a miniature person who didn't understand him and he certainly didn't like the idea of changing diapers. He had enough to deal with without the drama of a child.

Yet, despite his obvious displeasure around kids, they flocked to him. They danced around his ankles, tripping him and dribbling on his shoes. They tugged at his suit and called for attention. Sometimes, they vomited into his lap and then laughed in delight as he grimaced. It was an endless bundle of rosy cheeks and innocent eyes, both of which hid the true demons inside.

He didn't understand peoples fascination with them. They were always sticky, crying and pooping. If they weren't bubbly or wet, then they were asleep. Where was the fun? Where was the order, the familiarity?

Looking for answers, he would sometimes head to his sister's house. Rhiannon was the proud mother of two children, David and Mica. Oh, how she raved about them. When they were tucked away in bed, she'd tell Ianto of David's recent sports achievements and Mica's new best friend. Rhiannon would whisper how she loved them and how she hoped Ianto would one day experience the same feeling. Ianto would shake his head and mutter something about the future.

And Rhiannon would wander off to fold some clothes and Ianto would find himself at Mica's bedside.

She always looked like an angel when she was asleep, even as a baby (and Ianto could not tell one baby from the next). The streetlight outside her window would illuminate her face, bouncing off her caramel locks. She'd smile when Ianto neared, that part of him that attracted children working, even in Mica's sleep. He'd run a finger along her cheek, smiling when, for just one second, he'd see the appeal.

There was potential there. That's the part that he found acceptable in children. With the right upbringing, children could achieve so much. They could be the smartest scientist in the lab or the kindest teacher at school. They could be the model with the perfect personality or the ugliest duckling that was a great poet. He looked forward to seeing Mica grow up to be the greatest singer in the world. He looked forward to seeing David scoring his first goal in a professional game of rugby.

"They're not so bad, you know," Rhiannon would whisper.

Ianto jumped at this stage, spinning to see his sister behind him. She was an expert at sneaking up at people, despite her bulk. He wondered how the floorboards resisted squeaking under her weight, while they practically sang when he tiptoed down the hall.

"They're beautiful," Ianto whispered in return, tucking his hands into his suit pockets. "They're beautiful when they're asleep, at least." A smile would light his face at this stage, hinting that he meant it playfully.

"And when are you going to settle down, Ianto?" She placed a hand on his shoulder and squeezed gently. "Find a nice wife, buy a house, have children. I always feel so depressed when I see you pulling up in that SUV alone. Surely you have women falling at you feet."

Ianto could not deny the awkward silence that would follow. How could he tell his sister that he no longer felt a passion for women after Lisa's death? She certainly knew about the funeral. She knew about Ianto's depression, but she didn't know about his new antidepressant. No, Ianto would not be telling her about Jack any time soon. It was biologically impossible for two men to produce offspring. He could only ever think of one thing to say in this situation.

"We'll see what the future brings."